Gedanken und andere Einbildungen

A man had been drinking for several hours in his neighborhood bar when the bartender started to close up. The drunken man got off his stool and fell to the floor. He pulled himself up on the stool, took one step toward the door and fell again. "Oh, hell. I'll crawl then," he said. He crawled to the door, pulled himself up by the doorknob, worked his way outside and fell again when he let go. He decided to crawl around the corner to his home. He pulled himself up to let himself in, managed to close the door, but fell again when he stepped toward the couch. After crawling to the couch he pulled himself up on it and went to sleep. An hour later his wife turned on the lights and woke him up.

"You've been drinking again, haven't you?" she said angrily.

"No, honey. I was out with the guys late and did not want to wake you..."

"Right," she said. "The bar just called to let me know you forgot your wheelchair."

... findet ihr hier. Und zwar in einem echt relativ schwer verständlichen englisch, da in der Urfassung :-)  Es gibt aber sogar ein paar Werke in deutsch.

A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma.

One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl.

The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be

walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl was frantic!

Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for,dear?"

Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the young girl told her that some people were passing out

free oranges and that she was lining up for some.

"Mmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma. "I think Ill have some myself,: she continued as she made her

way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes.

When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered. "But youre so old..... how do you do it?"

Grandma replied, "Oh, its quite easy, sonny..... I just remove my dentures and suckem dry!!!"